Heavenly Father, I praise You for being a God who walks with us through the valleys and the mountains in life. I praise You for helping me to maintain my faith and to hold onto my hope after losing my son five years ago. For helping me through the nightmares of finding him dead. Thank you for bringing me to a new church and people I have begun to learn to lean on and be encouraged by.
Holy Spirit, my spirit grieves for the family that just lost their son to suicide. He was a bright, easy-going, loving 17-year-old, and there was no warning that this would happen. He had many connections at school and had played on the state champion football team as their center. He also went to my church, and I have talked to him before. Help his parents and siblings as they grieve and the emptiness that they feel. I know this feeling all too well. Help them, especially after many of the community members move on in life. This loss hits so deeply and never fully goes away. I know You know what it feels like as You had to pull away to allow Christ to die on the cross so he could bear our sins. That in no way could
have been easy. Help all of us understand that sacrifice and how that helps us understand that You know each person’s heart and mind, so You will know the why. I hope someday to see Philip in heaven, my son, I will know then if his was an accident or suicide. Until then, I have an empty spot in my life that will never fully heal. This, more than anything, will always drive me to teach people to pray. To be supportive of others, to invest in the next generations, to learn to love the unlovely, and to love those who need it. I will always be available to listen and do my best to never come across as judgmental or critical of what they may be facing. I have to be firm and steadfast at my job, but outside of that, I try to be more like Paul and malleable to the situation.
Holy Spirit, You inspired Paul to write: Since I am raised with Christ, I will learn to desire those things that are above, where Christ sits at the right hand of God. Help me to set my affection on things above, not be consumed or love things on the earth. For I am dead, and my life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is my life, shall appear,
then I also shall appear with Him in glory. Teach me to put to death the parts of my earthly nature: sexual immorality, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. Because I am learning that these things, the wrath of God comes on the sons of disobedience. I used to live that life with them. I must now put away all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, and filthy language out of my mouth. I no longer can lie to others for that was part of my old nature or way, because I am embracing the new nature to emulate Christ, who has and is becoming my all in all. [Colossians 3:1-11, MEV and paraphrased by me] Thank You for being my guide and prompter as I grow in Christ. In Jesus’ name, Amen.