My Heart is Heavy with Failure

I’ll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness, the taste of ashes, the poison I’ve swallowed. I remember it all—oh, how well I remember—the feeling of hitting the bottom. But there’s one other thing I remember, and remembering, I keep a grip on hope: God’s loyal love couldn’t have run out, his merciful love couldn’t have dried up. They’re created new every morning. How great your faithfulness! I’m sticking with God (I say it over and over). He’s all I’ve got left. God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks. It’s a good thing when you’re young to stick it out through the hard times. When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence. Bow in prayer. Don’t ask questions: Wait for hope to appear. Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, and whose hope is the Lord. Heal me, O Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for You are the one I praise. For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. “When you call on Me, when you come and pray to Me, I’ll listen. When you come looking for me, you’ll find me. Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I’ll make sure you won’t be disappointed.” God’s Decree. [Lamentations 3:19-30 (Message); Jeremiah 17:7; Jeremiah 17:14; Jeremiah 29:11-13; Jeremiah 29:12&13(Message)]

Holy Spirit I am broken in so many ways. Life has hit me from many sides and I no longer know how to face each day other than coming to You. I have failed You, I have failed my family, I have failed my friends, I have failed my ministry and all those who know me, yet You still love me. You still pray over me and sing over me. I place any and all hope I have left in You. I will never measure up to what my family, friends, work or the world expect of me. I can only walk in the light I see and follow the path I have been taught through Your word. As David once said, “But I am a worm, and not a man; a reproach of men and despised by the people. All who see me laugh me to scorn; they sneer with the lip, they shake the head, saying, ‘Trust in the Lord, let Him deliver him; let Him rescue him, seeing He delights in him.’ [Psa. 22:6-8] 

Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; for I shall yet praise Him, the help of my countenance and my God. God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth gives way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells. God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day. Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; he lifts His voice, the earth melts. The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Come and see the works of the Lord, the desolations he has brought on the earth. He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth; he breaks the bow and shatters the spear, he burns the shields with fire. “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Call upon Me in the day of trouble; I shall rescue you, and you will honor Me. Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall. When I am afraid, I will trust in You. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can mortal man do to me? [Psalm 42:11; Psalms 46:1-11; Psalms 50:15; Psalms 55:22; Psalms 56:3&4]

Holy Spirit lead me this day, to praise God even though my heart is down cast. Let me know within my heart that I am not forsaken. I am humbled by all that I see of my failures and I cry out to You to help me through this time in life. In Jesus’ name, amen.