Heavenly Father I praise You for slowly teaching me wisdom and reminding me that in the end we have victory and that we can have victory now too. Heavenly Father I praise You for teaching me that my sight is small and limited, while Yours is full, big and unlimited. You see the past, the current and the future.
Holy Spirit I and many like me have asked in the past why. We, as humans, want to know why we face death, why bad things happen to good or faithful people? Why evil runs rampant in our world? Why injustice reigns more than justice? Why does it seem that the evil is rewarded and the good people are trampled on. We wonder why sickness, heartache, divorce, and apathy seem to be the norm and there is little to no happiness or joy? Why each generation moves farther from You? Why there are wars and rumor of wars every day?
Holy Spirit help me and others to open our eyes to Your word and to slowly gain enough wisdom to see beyond what is in front of us. Paul told us, and lived by example, “Everywhere and in all things I have learned the secret, both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things because of Christ who strengthens me. [Philippians 4:12&13, MEV] I also declare that my God shall supply all my needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. [Philip. 419]” Our first lesson in life that we learn as a very early age is that life is not about or for us. But do we really understand what this means in its completeness? The second lesson to be learned is that because sin was allowed to enter in our world back at the beginning it life here is broken and hard for us to see Christ in the midst of the chaos. The third lesson is that with every human being having free will, life can get very messy and complicated. God is there beside us each step we take in life. He knows our thoughts, our hearts, our desires and what our day will be like long before it occurs. When I found Philip, God had not forsaken me, but he did allow all that happen, happen. His heart was broke long before mine. His heart was broken the minute mankind took a bite of fruit and sinned with pride. His heart was broken when he died on the cross as people shouted insults and cursing. His heart was broken when Judas betrayed Him with a kiss, and Peter denied knowing Him 3 times in the court yard. His heart has been broken over and over by how we allow sin to reign in our lives and how we do the opposite of what we were created for. I don’t know why tribulation seems to come to us who try to trust Him most, but I know like Daniel did staring at the lions for a whole night, or Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego feeling the heat from the fiery furnace just before being hurled inside, that Jesus loves me, He will stand beside me and die on the cross all over again if I will just believe and trust Him. I know one day life will stop as we know it and the sin and all the sinners will be cut away so that we can live as we were intended too. Hell will be full of people separated from God for eternity, with no hope, no joy, no future. I will not trade my faith for that kind of life. I may not like the tribulations I have faced in life but they are a smaller price that finding myself in hell.
So I will continue to pray and work out my salvation. I will continue to take one step at a time. I will continue to cast my anxiety onto God. I will continue to humble myself so that God can use me no matter how much fire he has to use to refine me, or how much life in this broken world attacks me with. I seek the risen God of Easter while not forgetting the suffering, rejected God who died for me on the cross. Help me to be faithful to the end no matter what for my only strength comes from You for I am a broken battered vessel that is useless to all except Jesus. Help me to stand when I am afraid, broken, downhearted and fully confused. For if I have any hope in life it is from and through You and Your presence in this temple that is me. Amen. why